Parents need to have an understanding of childlike innocence

Parents need to have an understanding of childlike innocence

There is no doubt that children, especially young children, need to be shaped by their parents.

But the shaping must be based on the characteristics of the “material” being shaped, and the child’s innocence must be understood.

  In real life, the reason why many parents often express some doubts or even helplessness when enthusiastically shaping their children’s future is that the parents themselves have psychological barriers that are separated from the childlike world.

  How to do?

The key is that when parents get along with their children, “temporarily” return to the childhood world, “temporarily” replace their psychological position with the child’s psychological position, and thereby improve their understanding of the child’s innocence.

  Fully understand that children have their own unique psychology. They desire that they can be understood by their parents. For example, they are passionate about games. Regardless of parental approval, games are always their participation in activities.

Even after enrolling, they will not leave the game activity.

If parents obstruct the child’s play horizontally, thinking that the child is playing more off-road, trying to restrain his hands and feet, then in the end can only cause the child’s childhood deprivation.

  Of course, it is necessary to guide and arrange the children’s games.

What is sufficient understanding?

Full understanding is to try to understand children’s needs, children’s interests, children’s emotions . In a word, it is to try to understand the children’s unique psychological experience and psychological performance, put aside the parent’s subjective experience, and objectively reflect the child’s true colors.
  Sensitive sensibility to the innocence of the child’s heart cannot only rest on a full understanding of the child; otherwise, it will remain passive.

Children have their own emotional and thought problems.

For example, when their needs are not met, their wishes are difficult to achieve, or when they encounter some difficulties in various activities such as games, their emotions will change and their thoughts will be damaged.

  This kind of fluctuations and disturbances, whether parents can sensitively surface area to observe and feel in time and make them help to solve in extremely natural situations, has become another important symbol and manifestation of childlike understanding.

It is often the case that some parents can understand the child’s psychology, but lack sensitivity to the child’s emotions and behaviors, and cannot detect and observe the child’s psychological changes sensitively in subtle places.

  This is actually because the parent ‘s psychology is not truly integrated with the child ‘s psychology, so the child will have the illusion that he or she is not recognized by the parent and understands. Over time, the child will intentionally or unconsciously keep his mind away from the parent ‘s psychology., The parents’ “temporary” return to the childhood world will be pushed back into the adult world by the child.

  Moderate motherly love Motherly love is very important for a child’s psychological development.

Without the hot motherly love, the bond between parents and children will break, and a psychological space will be formed that will be difficult to hide in the future.

But motherhood must be modest.

Misleading motherly love can only be doting, and the result of doting will inevitably lead to their true self-loss. Such children can only live on “borrowed” selves for a long time. They must be incompetent, fragile, and difficult to stand on in the future.To society.

  Reasonable expectations parents can understand their children, who would not want their children to achieve success in the future?

However, it is expected that if they are separated from their own level of psychological development and tolerance, they will be required to become a “dragon” into a “phoenix”, which will not only be unrealistic, but will also seriously undermine their normal psychology.

Once frustrated or hit, they lose their confidence and their emotions plummet.

  If this experience is too much, it will inevitably go to the opposite of parents’ expectations.

Parents with childlike understanding must have certain expectations for their children. However, such expectations are reasonable and can become a force to motivate children.

  Because this kind of expectation is based on seeking truth from facts, assessing children’s ability and taking care of children’s needs and interests. It can be achieved by children’s efforts within their ability.